Breaking Free from The Rat Race: Redefining Success and Letting Go of Societal Expectations

Written By: Julia Little - Director of Events

As I navigate my final year of university, I find myself reflecting on what success really means. Growing up, I believed success was about reaching milestones—having the most amazing university experience, graduating with my class, securing my dream job by 25, having a family - truly having it all! But the further I’ve come, the more I realize that success isn’t so straightforward. It’s not a series of boxes to tick off or a race to the finish line. In fact, it’s easy to get caught up in what feels like a rat race.

The world often pushes us to see life as a race—a constant, exhausting pursuit of the next achievement, the next step, the next reward. This idea of the “rat race” is something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. In this race, we’re like rats running on a never-ending wheel, always chasing the prize—whether that’s success, recognition, or financial stability. The problem is, much like those rats, we rarely stop to question why we’re running or whether the prize is even worth it.

For much of my time in university, I felt like I was running this race. I compared myself to others, measuring my success by how well I could keep up with my peers—whether I was taking the same course load, graduating in four years, or following a conventional path. But that constant pursuit left me feeling exhausted and disconnected. I was chasing an idea of success that wasn’t even mine.

At first, I felt like I was falling behind. Due to my learning disabilities—ADHD and dyslexia—I couldn’t take a full course load like many of my classmates. I struggled with tasks that seemed easy for others, and I constantly questioned whether I was doing enough. There were times when I felt like I wasn’t moving fast enough in this so-called race, and that made me feel like I was failing.

But over time, I started to realize something important: this rat race mentality wasn’t serving me. I had been chasing a version of success that was based on external expectations—on what society told me I should achieve. And the more I tried to run that race, the more I lost sight of what really mattered to me.

This pressure to keep up isn’t limited to academics; as women, these expectations often extend into every area of our lives. Society pushes us to follow a script: we should be in a romantic relationship by a certain age, find a “respectable” career, act nurturing, and one day become mothers—because after all, our “biological clock is ticking.” We’re expected to balance our personal ambitions with the invisible, yet heavy, mental load of caring for others. We should be polite, agreeable, and enjoyable to be around, regardless of how much pressure we’re already under. These layered expectations can feel overwhelming, making it seem like no matter what we achieve, we’re always falling short in another area of our lives.

The weight of these societal pressures is just another aspect of the rat race—the expectation that women should “do it all” and still remain calm, collected, and smiling. This constant balancing act can leave us questioning our worth, making it even harder to define success on our own terms. As Michelle Obama wisely said, “Success isn’t about how much money you make; it’s about the difference you make in people’s lives.” Her words remind me that true success isn’t about ticking off boxes or fitting into a mold. Instead, it’s about living a life that reflects who you are, creating impact in the world around you, and finding contentment in the life you live.

Serena Williams once said, “I really think a champion is defined not by their wins but by how they can recover when they fall.”  This quote reminds me that success isn’t about how fast I reach a goal or how closely I follow a traditional path. It’s about how I grow and adapt when things don’t go as planned. It’s about understanding that setbacks are part of the journey and that my worth isn’t tied to how well I keep up with others.

The rat race suggests that success is a destination—a reward waiting at the end if we just run fast enough. But I’ve learned that success isn’t a finish line; it’s a process. It’s found in the moments of resilience, in the lessons learned from challenges, and in the growth that comes from slowing down and reflecting.

As I finish my final year, I’m letting go of the pressure to “keep up” with anyone else. My career path isn’t clearly defined, and I’m okay with that. I’ve learned to measure success not by how quickly I reach a milestone but by how aligned my journey feels with who I am. Success, for me, is no longer about being the fastest or doing things in a particular order—it’s about finding fulfillment in my own way, on my own terms. In the end, the rat race only leads to burnout and dissatisfaction. True success is about stepping off that wheel and defining your own path. It’s about embracing the fact that life isn’t a race to be won but a journey to be experienced. And that’s the kind of success I’ve discovered is worth striving for.